May 06, 2008

You never know what the day holds for you

The Sunday before last I was having coffee and reading the paper with my dad. We do this every Sunday while my mom is at church and my hubby is out with friends having coffee. 5 yrs ago he cancelled his Sunday paper and decided to just come over and read mine. My dad is a man of few words who's gentle guidance has given me the strength to be the person I am today. And this man of few words came out with, "Well I'm going into the hospital on Wednesday for some surgery. They found a tumor in my intestines and some lesions on my liver. Don't worry because I'm 73 yrs old and I'm not afraid of death. I've lived a great life and plan to live a great life until the end.
Last Wednesday it was confirmed. Stage 4 cancer. He's watched many people die of cancer and decided that he will not seek treatment for this. He just wants to live out however long he has surrounded by the things he holds dear until it's his time to go. I understand his decission and will respect his wishes but it's hard.
So I've been filling my days with the routine that is my life. Mindless knitting.
And another pair of dreaded black socks. Dad really liked the first pair so I'm making another for him.
New patterns.
So I've been treating this like an elephant in a room. It's there but not talked about. I'm fortunate enough to live about 1.5 miles away from my parents so I'm there when needed. I'll spend all my time making the most of my father while he is still here and will deal with his death once it happens.

19 comments:

sophanne said...

I'm sad for you. I'm glad that you're near. Life is hard.

Kelli said...

I think it's wonderful that you can take extra time with him and cherish the moments that you have.

Karen said...

Diane - know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

Lynn said...

Yikes! Well I'm happy that he seems to be fine with this and I'm happy that you are close to him so that you will be able to spend as much time with him. But boy does that stink.

Lovs2Knit said...

Big Hugs! Enjoy what time you have. I'll keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Amy said...

I'm so sorry. Your father sounds like a wise and loving person.

sydney said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost my mom from cancer. It's good that you live close so you can spend some extra time with him. *hugs*

Donna said...

I'll be thinking of you all.

monica said...

I will be praying for you and your family. I lost my mom to cancer, and I respect your dad's wishes. Eventhough prognosis was poor for my mom, she decided to try the chemo and was sick and misrerable the entire time. And that time was very short after her diagnosis. In hind site I wished she had done just as your dad is doing.
Treasure every moment you have with him.

Just A Knit Wit said...

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard this must be on your entire family.

This time will likely create some of the best and worst memories for you.

Hugs to your entire family.

Karen said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Your family is in my prayers. Monica and I are sisters and I share her sentiments (the chemo made our mom so miserable) about your dad's decision. I hope you have many,many,many,many more Sunday's together. Hugs and prayers to you and yours.

Rachel said...

Sending hugs and prayers your way! I hope you have a lot longer to enjoy your dad's company, and that you are forced to knit many more pairs of black socks!

The A.D.D. Knitter said...

You have such a great attitude. You and your dad sound like you really have a special relationship, and how lucky you both are to live so near to one another.

Marie said...

You are in my thoughts...hugs to you all

Anita said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, he sounds like an amazing person. How lucky you are for that. I'll be thinking of you...

Dee said...

I'm so sorry! You and your family will be in our prayers.

Sandie Knapp said...

Hi Diane,
I am so sorry to read of your Dad's cancer. I wish your Dad and all of you all the best, and I hope it goes easy for him. I am of like mind as your Dad, and I'm glad you can see and understand his feelings about this. It is never easy letting a loved one go. But it can be easier when it's on their terms. And I am sure that in the months ahead you will gain many wonderful memories to help you and your Dad get through this. Remember, His life does live on through you.

Take care

Debra said...

It always seems to short, doesn't it? I think we often take for granted the time that we have together, which is never enough. Enjoy each moment as they come, and I hope for peace for you and your family.

gypsyknits said...

Oh Diane, I am so sorry to hear and you and your family are in our prayers. Please email me with your address. Take care.